Deb Hirschhorn

The Self is in everybody. . . the Self cannot be damaged, the Self doesn't have to develop, and the Self possesses its own wisdom about how to heal internal as well as exteral relationships.

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Deb Hirschhorn's style

Why Deb Hirschhorn chose to be in the helping profession

This field is just me. I've always been drawn to it. As a little kid in elementary school I would keep borrowing a book from the library called Psych 101. I was fascinated by it. In college, I spent a year studying the impact of institutionalization on people in Israel and as part of that project, we all went to Israel for a summer. I also launched a project for students to visit our local mental hospital regularly to be listeners to the patients on the psychiatric unit. In both cases, I wanted to understand what was going on with these people. To me, they were people, not patients.
After college, I worked in the beautiful mountains of New Hampshire at a children's village for kids who were court ordered away from their homes for juvenile delinquency. The program was strictly behavioral which I thought was the best answer to reach people, but I found that it wasn't. I found that people have feelings which need to be at the forefront of our efforts to help people.
Today, I work with couples who've had difficult pasts and challening marriages. People ask me whether I get burnt out and I say, "No" because when I find I can help, it fuels me. And I'm patient. I can wait to see those changes because I know that things will happen on their own time, not mine.
There is nothing I love better than to see happy couples. When their "stuff" challenges me, I'll be thinking about them while I'm in the car or cooking because I want to find solutions. That fires me up. I love to help. So much so that I've started a podcast to help people who don't want to go to therapy for whatever reason.

Deb Hirschhorn's approach

The Quote above was by Dr. Richard C. Schwartz, founder of Internal Family Systems. When I discovered this method of doing therapy, my clinical Self was, perhaps for the first time, totally aligned with who I am. Both a Jewish viewpoint on who we are as human beings and the IFS viewpoint is that, basically, we are good. We've got a Self that is kind, compassionate, and wise. Unfortuantely it often gets taken over by our "defenses." When that happens, those that interact with us can easily lose touch with the True Person that we are - which is sad and unfortunate.

But there is a solution! Part one of the solution is to get to know who you are, yourself, and also those defenses that came to protect you when you were younger and just stayed and stayed. Part two of the solution is to use our powerful imaginations to go back in time and re-write the bad scenes in our past so that our "inner children" feel safe and happy - for the first time.

Then there's Part three: the marriage. Imagine how easy conversations can be when each person is working on healing. When that happens, the defensive parts can take a back seat and each person's True Self can shine. Then conversations are calm, connected, and involve a bit of courage to be able to speak what's in your heart from an honest place as well as being able to listen with an open heart.

What you can expect from sessions with Deb Hirschhorn

I go slow. I'm patient. I lovingly redirect people from pointing a finger at their spouse to telling me how what is happening affects them because I find that when a person feels blamed, they become defensive and nothing productive or helpful is accomplished. The idea of couples sessions is to create a safe place for people to be their honest selves and share from a place of connection what is bothering them so that the other person - the listener - also feels safe enough to listen and be willing to make those changes. Out of vulnerable sharing comes deepend connection and renewed love.
But there are situations where a person doesn't feel safe to speak or to listen. That is totally normal. I then see each person individually for a few sessions to find out what the fear is about and see how to resolve it. This works almost every time. Rarely, very rarely, does it not work. This works with people who have had various labels pinned on them. The reason it works is because I do not judge them for their actions or thoughts. I understand that most of the time these behaviors come from their defenses, which in turn came from difficult childhoods. When I can help each person heal from childhood, it strengthens them to be able to be vulnerable. (Yes, vulnerability is strength, not weakness.)

Deb Hirschhorn's experience working with the Jewish community

While I do have non-Jewish clients, most of my clients are Jewish. That probably happened simply because I live in a densely Jewish area. In my mind, there is no judgment towards how religious a person is or how non-religious. We unfortunately have enough people out there that don't like us without our adding to it.
For many years, I wrote for Jewish newspapers and that did bring in a stream of clients who liked me and my approach.

Deb Hirschhorn's Book Recommendation Zone

• The Body Keeps the Score
• No Bad Parts
• You Are The One You've Been Waiting For
• How Can I Get Through to You?
• The Developing Mind
• The Healing Is Mutual: Marriage Empowerment Tools to Rebuild Trust and Respect - Together

Approaches

• Attachment-based
• EMDR
• Hypnotherapy
• Inner child work
• Internal Family Systems (IFS)
• Mindfulness and Meditation
• Structural Family Therapy
• Trauma Focused Therapy

Concerns

• Abuse/Violence
• Addiction
• Anxiety
• Codependency
• Dating
• Depression
• Emotion regulation
• Mood Disorders
• Parenting
• Personality issues & disorders
• Relationships
• Stress management
• Trauma

30 years in practice

Licenses

• MHC by New York 2010. License number 004678

Degrees

• Ph.D by Nova Southeastern University 2001
• M.A. by Drake University 1978
• B.A. by Queens College 1970

Trainings

• Level 1 IFS by The Internal Family Systems Institute 2021
• EMDR by Jennifer Sweeton 2019
• Memory Reconsolidation by Jules Taylor Shore 2023
• Level 2 IFS by IFS-Institute: Couples 2024
• IFIO by Advanced Couples Therapy 2024

Affiliations

• American Association of Marriage & Family Therapists by aamft 1992
• American Psychological Association by apa 2024
• Association of Jewish Psychologists by ajp 2024

Average costs per session

$275

Payment Methods

• Cash
• Check
• Zelle Quick Pay