Point-by-Point is not the Point

Point-by-Point is not the Point by Eli Deutsch, Relationship Expert

Imagine: There you are sitting on your couch playing video games and your wife enters the room and loses it on you: “You never do anything! You don’t have a job! You just lay around the house. The garbage is sitting at the door, and you can’t even take that out! Do something with your life!”

Imagine you calmly respond to her, “Actually, I have three job interviews scheduled for next week, I’m planning to workout and spend quality time with my successful buddy Joe later, and I am going to take out the garbage when I head out to go over to his place, so it’s all good babe. I’m on it. Don’t worry about it.” And you go back to playing video games.

A few minutes later, she walks in again and starts yelling at you about other errands, and adds onto the end of her rant that you don’t have a job and you don’t take out the trash.

You respond with, “Hold on a sec. I already answered you about the job and the garbage. Why do you keep asking about it?”

Good news. Today, I’m going to answer this question for you (and for her): It’s because point-by-point is not the point. 

You can answer on every point on her list and every example she brings. But you’re still sitting on the couch. The general vibe, atmosphere, and energy you are giving off is one of laziness and lack of energy and responsibility. Where’s your vibrancy for life?

She’s coming at you with a list to make her point. But answering her point-by-point is not the point. The vibration and culture you’re bringing into the home is the point.

The remedy to this is to bring positivity and passion to life. To take initiative and follow through. To get your hands dirty, grab the bull by the horns, to live and to accomplish.

Go get it!

About the author

Eli Deutsch

Relationship Expert

  • Remote only
  • $250 Per Session
  • 9 reviews

Eli Deutsch is a relationship expert who helps Jewish couples restore polarity, improve communication, rebuild trust, and reignite intimacy.


"I find that one of the biggest downfalls for couples today is a breakdown in the male-female dynamic within their relationship. Men often act from a place of weakness instead of from initiative, follow through, and emotional self …

  • 🎯 Direct
  • 👂 Listener
  • 💡 Solution-oriented
  • 🐣 Out of the box

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