Koby Frances, Ph.D.

What feels random or hopeless often begins to make sense when we understand the pattern underneath it.

• Web
• Linkedin

Koby Frances, Ph.D.'s style

Why Koby Frances, Ph.D. chose to be in the helping profession

Dating and relationships can be challenging and bring up all kinds of complicated questions. Yet it can be hard to find a friend, parent, or mentor who really understands—and who can listen objectively without immediately trying to solve the problem or tell us what to do. I know this from my own history of dating. Back then, I often wished I had someone who could help me see that my problems and feelings actually made a lot of sense and weren't as hopeless as they seemed.

I also could have used more of a guide—not just someone who listened and validated, but someone who could offer concrete perspective, identify patterns I wasn’t seeing, and help me think more clearly about important decisions. When we don’t know what a healthy relationship looks like to begin with, how do we know what to pay attention to? When no one tells us how our actions are perceived by others, how are we supposed to know? And when so many of our everyday difficulties can all be organized around just one or two core questions or themes, it sure would be nice to have that kind of focus!

Those older experiences helped shape the kind of therapist I try to be today. I listen carefully and help clients make sense of what they are experiencing, but I’m also willing to offer direction, explain patterns, and point out things that may be difficult to see from the inside. I think people are often looking for those one or two core issues that can help organize their current difficulties and that brings immediate focus to areas of struggle and growth that we've likely carried with us for many years. All of this helps us to think more clearly, become more compassionate toward ourselves and manage our lives much more effectively.

Much of my work today focuses on dating and relationship situations, compulsive sexual behavior, and confusing patterns of attraction.

Koby Frances, Ph.D.'s approach

My approach draws on over fifteen years of clinical practice and extensive training in psychodynamic and psychoanalytic therapy, CBT, DBT, IFS, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, and Sex Addiction Therapy through the Inner Child Model. Rather than applying one model to everyone, I draw from these different approaches depending on the person and the problem. Different problems—and different people—require different ways of thinking and working.

Therapy isn’t like going to a regular doctor. It involves confiding in a stranger about very personal things and trusting that they will understand what you are saying without increasing shame or jumping to conclusions. Because of this, I think the relationship between therapist and client matters enormously. While being professional, I’m also personable, direct, and easy to talk to—and humor often finds its way into the work as well.

At the same time, I believe therapy should offer more than a place to talk. I try to understand not only what someone is experiencing, but the psychological patterns underneath it. Identifying these underlying patterns can help immensely because it allows us to make sense of difficulties that might otherwise seem random or mysterious--and it often points us directly toward what is then needed most.

While sessions are often focused on goals and underlying patterns, I don't believe in rushing someone toward a conclusion, pushing them to change a behavior, or asking them to disclose something before they are ready. Receiving a therapist’s perspective can itself be vulnerable, particularly when it challenges how we have understood ourselves.

Therapy, in my view, works best when there is ongoing trust, respect and a sense of ease in the session. In my experience it works best as a collaboration.

What you can expect from sessions with Koby Frances, Ph.D.

Sessions with me are flexible depending on the person and what we are working on. Some people just need one or two sessions to solve a timely question. Others want more ongoing support and deeper change. Depending on what each client needs, I’m comfortable taking a more organized and structured approach just as I am comfortable following closely along as you discuss events, feelings and thoughts and then inserting questions or reflections as needed.

I don’t believe therapy has to be overly taxing, abstract, or intense to be effective. Sometimes we need to examine something deeply; other times, the immediate task may be to understand a specific problem, make an important decision, change a troubling pattern, or simply organize what is going on. Either way, I think it should remain clear why we are meeting and what we are hoping to accomplish together. Those goals may change as we learn more, but they provide direction for the work.

Many new clients tell me that they begin to feel more comfortable surprisingly quickly. Often, there is relief simply in being able to describe a complicated problem to someone who understands it and can begin helping you make sense of it. My goal is for you to leave sessions with greater clarity about what you are dealing with, the patterns that may be contributing to it, and what might help you move forward.

Koby Frances, Ph.D.'s experience working with the Jewish community

From the beginning of my career, I have worked extensively with Jewish clients across a wide range of hashkafic and cultural backgrounds, including Litvish, Yeshivish, Modern Orthodox, Chasidish, Persian, Moroccan, Syrian and other Sephardic communities, as well as culturally Jewish clients. I have found that understanding a person’s religious and cultural background is often essential to understanding the person themselves. Clients should be able to speak openly about relationships, sexuality, family, community and personal struggles without feeling that they first need to explain or defend the world they come from.

Over the years, my work in the Orthodox community has expanded beyond individual therapy to include training and consultation for rabbis, kallah teachers, mental-health professionals and Orthodox organizations. Much of this work has focused on dating and relationships, sexual behavior, and confusing, compulsive or unwanted attraction patterns—areas where psychological questions can become closely intertwined with religious values, family expectations and community life.

I am also a regular presenter at Nefesh and regularly provide consultation to nonprofit Orthodox organizations. I value being able to support not only individual clients, but also the professionals and community leaders helping people navigate complicated personal and relationship concerns.

Ultimately, I want Jewish clients from any background to know that their values and religious commitments will be taken seriously. Therapy should be a place where those parts of a person’s life are understood in context—not automatically treated as obstacles to psychological health or personal growth.

Koby Frances, Ph.D.'s Book Recommendation Zone

• Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction
  A detailed guide to working on the childhood triggers of any kind of compulsive sexual behavior.
• Breaking Addiction
  Provides a common-sense understanding of what triggers any addictive behavior
• Reclaiming Healthy Sexual Energy
  A guide to understanding how sexual energy gets activated both by familiar fantasies and images and by real human connections

Approaches

• Inner child work
• Internal Family Systems (IFS)
• Psychoanalytic Therapy
• Psychodynamic Therapy
• Somatic Therapy
• Supervision Services
• Trauma Focused Therapy

Concerns

• Addiction
• Anxiety
• Dating
• LGBTQIA, gender, & sexuality topics
• Relationships
• Sexual health & dysfunction
• Trauma

15 years in practice

Licenses

• Psychology by NY State. License number 019861

Degrees

• Clinical Psychology by City University of New York 2008

Certificates

• Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, Level 2 by Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Institute 2024

Trainings

• Sex Addiction, Inner Child Model by Dr. Eddie Capparucci 2025
• IFS Introduction by Nachas Consulting 2023
• Sensory Experience by Sensory Experience Institute 2000

Average costs per session

$275 - $350

Payment Methods

• Sliding Scale
• Free consultation
• Cash
• Check
• Credit Card
• Zelle Quick Pay
• Venmo
• PayPal