Koby Frances

Building trust and making it easy to talk--that's always the first step when clients come in.

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Koby Frances's style

Why Koby Frances chose to be in the helping profession

Dating and relationships can be challenging, and can bring up so many different, complicated questions. Yet it can be hard to find a friend, parent, or mentor who really understands, and who can listen objectively without trying to solve the problem or change us. I know this from my own history of dating. Back then, I often wished that someone, like me, could have been there to listen and help show me that my problems and feelings actually made a whole lot of sense, and were not as hopeless as they seemed. Sometimes what we need most is simply someone who can help us make sense of what we are experiencing without immediately telling us what we should do.

When I was navigating relationships in my single years, I also could have used more of a guide. Not just someone who listens and validates, but someone who can sometimes give concrete suggestions and point out things I am not aware of. When we don't know what a good relationship looks like to begin with, for example, how can we make all of these important decisions? When no one tells us how our actions are perceived by others, how will we ever know? That is why now, as a therapist, I am not only carefully listening and helping clients make more sense of things. I am also giving them something that they might not otherwise get: perspective, direction, and a better understanding of themselves and their relationships.

This creates trust and a desire to grow and continue learning about oneself. So much of what I have shared over the years has helped lift people's confusion and give them a sense of much-needed hope, as well as a sense of what needs to happen in order for things to improve. My goal is not to tell someone what decision to make, but to help them understand what is happening, what they may not be seeing, and what possibilities they may not have considered. Sometimes simply having someone who can listen objectively, understand where you are coming from, and offer a thoughtful perspective can make a situation feel much less hopeless.

Koby Frances's approach

Therapy isn't like going to a regular doctor. It involves confiding in a stranger about personal details and trusting that they won't say something that might increase shame. It involves speaking about our inner thoughts and feelings when this isn't our everyday way of speaking. Because of this, I think the relationship between therapist and client matters enormously. My approach to therapy is about offering sound direction and guidance, but also about being a real person. While being professional, I am also highly personable, funny, and easy to talk to.

I also have an interesting balance of being focused and efficient while, at the same time, exercising patience. I never want to rush clients to arrive at a conclusion, change a behavior, or divulge secrets before they are ready. Empathy is one of my "secret weapons" because I myself have had a lot of varied life experiences, both good and bad, and have spent years supporting many people, including friends, family, and clients, through a wide array of challenges. I find that this combination of empathy, clinical experience, and practicality allows me to meet people where they are while still helping them move forward.

I also find that receiving input from a therapist is one of the most vulnerable things a client can be open to. Someone in a position of authority is going to tell you something new about you, and that can be scary. This is why, before sharing my perspective, I make sure that clients are truly able to benefit from what I am saying. I want it to be not only wise, but also useful. My perspective is based on years of clinical experience and a deep understanding of each person, but ultimately, the client has to find what I am sharing to be relevant. This is why I lean toward a more collaborative approach.

I am also a strong believer in educating clients about psychology as it pertains to their situation. For example, helping them understand why certain feelings show up at certain times, how habits become so hard to break, or why people are often attracted to incompatible partners. These are common human mysteries that can often be well explained through simple psychology concepts. When clients understand more about themselves and others, they can begin to approach their experiences with greater awareness and less confusion.

My approach is informed by over fifteen years of practice and extensive training in psychodynamic and psychoanalytic therapy, CBT, DBT, IFS, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, and Sex Addiction Therapy through the Inner Child Model. I draw from these different approaches depending on the person and what is actually going to be useful to them. I don't believe that therapy has to look exactly the same for everyone, and I try to offer clients an approach that fits both their needs and where they are in the process.

What you can expect from sessions with Koby Frances

When meeting with me, you should expect to feel more comfortable, organized, and relieved than you did when you first came in. Sessions are flexible depending on the person and the need. I am adept at offering a more organized and structured approach when clients aren't sure how to begin. When desired, if clients prefer to first articulate and organize their thoughts and feelings, I am also good at creating space for that and following along.

For therapy to be effective, I don't think that it necessarily needs to be overly taxing, abstract, or too intense. Sometimes people need to work through something deeply, and sometimes they simply need a place to organize what is going on in their minds and lives. With clients who decide to meet more than once, even if they simply want a place each week to organize and vent their thoughts, we make sure that it is always clear why they are continuing to meet and what exactly we are trying to accomplish together.

What is the core problem we are looking to manage or resolve? This question may change as we get to know each other and as experiences evolve. Though we may not always be explicitly talking about goals each session, it always remains an overarching focus. I want clients to have a sense that there is a reason for the work we are doing together, even when the process itself is flexible.

New clients who meet with me almost always report feeling better after the first few moments of talking, and certainly by the end of the session. I think there is something powerful about being able to finally put thoughts and feelings into words, have someone listen without judgment, and begin to organize what may have felt confusing or overwhelming. My hope is that clients leave sessions feeling more comfortable, more organized, and more relieved, with a clearer sense of what they are dealing with and what can happen next.

Koby Frances's experience working with the Jewish community

From the very beginning, I have been devoted to working with Jewish clients from across all hashkafic and cultural backgrounds. This includes Litvish, Yeshivish, Modern Orthodox, Chasidish, Persian, Moroccan, Syrian, other Sephardic, and culturally Jewish clients. I have found that understanding a person's cultural and religious background can be an important part of understanding the person themselves. My goal has always been to create a space where clients can speak openly about the questions, struggles, relationships, and patterns that are affecting their lives without feeling that they need to explain or defend their background.

Over the years, I have become a widely trusted resource in the Orthodox community and regularly provide trainings and supervision for rabbis, kallah teachers, and other experienced mental health professionals. Much of this work specifically focuses on confusing, compulsive, or unwanted attraction patterns. These are often areas that can bring up significant confusion and shame, and I believe that having a thoughtful, psychologically informed understanding of these experiences can make an enormous difference.

I am a regular presenter at Nefesh and regularly provide consultation to non-profit Orthodox organizations. I value the opportunity to support not only individual clients, but also the people and organizations who are helping others navigate complicated personal and relationship issues. My work with Jewish clients across different hashkafic and cultural backgrounds has given me a broad understanding of the many different ways people experience relationships, identity, family, community, and personal growth.

Ultimately, I want clients to feel that they can bring their full selves into the room. Whether someone comes from a Litvish, Yeshivish, Modern Orthodox, Chasidish, Sephardic, or culturally Jewish background, I want them to feel understood and respected. I believe that therapy can provide a place to make sense of complicated experiences, reduce confusion and shame, and develop a clearer understanding of oneself and one's relationships.

Koby Frances's Book Recommendation Zone

• Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction
  A detailed guide to working on the childhood triggers of any kind of compulsive sexual behavior.
• Breaking Addiction
  Provides a common-sense understanding of what triggers any addictive behavior
• Reclaiming Healthy Sexual Energy
  A guide to understanding how sexual energy gets activated both by familiar fantasies and images and by real human connections

Approaches

• Inner child work
• Internal Family Systems (IFS)
• Psychoanalytic Therapy
• Psychodynamic Therapy
• Somatic Therapy
• Supervision Services
• Trauma Focused Therapy

Concerns

• Addiction
• Anxiety
• Dating
• LGBTQIA, gender, & sexuality topics
• Relationships
• Trauma

15 years in practice

Licenses

• Psychology by NY State. License number 019861

Degrees

• Clinical Psychology by City University of New York 2008

Certificates

• Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, Level 2 by Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Institute 2024

Trainings

• Sex Addiction, Inner Child Model by Dr. Eddie Capparucci 2025
• IFS Introduction by Nachas Consulting 2023

Average costs per session

$275 - $350

Payment Methods

• Sliding Scale
• Free consultation
• Cash
• Check
• Credit Card
• Zelle Quick Pay
• Venmo
• PayPal