(If you're in a not-yet-married relationship and there is constant fighting, you might want to rethink the relationship. If you need marriage therapy before being married, you might want to reconsider your future with this person.)
However, for those who have tied the knot, it is typical for couples to form patterns, and sometimes those patterns aren't all that healthy or enjoyable.
One of those patterns can be constant bickering and getting into fights.
It would be good to discuss how to avoid fights, but for this little article, I'd like to share a few tips on how to stop fighting once the bout has already begun...
1. Look at the Bigger Picture
Many of the fights couples find themselves in are objectively trivial - the toothpaste was squeezed from the middle of the tube (gasp!), the laundry was left on the floor, etc.
Take a step back and ask yourself if what you're fighting about is big enough to justify doing damage to your relationship.
2. Validate Feelings
Even if you disagree on what should be done, you can acknowledge what your partner feels. The more common ground and agreement, the more partnership and connection is being experienced. As Ronald Reagan said, “My 80% ally is not my 20% enemy.”
3. Crack a Joke
Crack a joke in a way that implies that the argument is temporary and your relationship is permanent. This goes a long way to increase love even at a volatile time, thereby minimizing the prominence of the dispute. (Important tip: Make sure the joke doesn't belittle your partner or their feelings.)
4. Sleep On It
Time heals wounds and brings perceptive. Also, if a person lacks sleep, they can be more irritable and lack judgement. After some sleep, you might be ready to drop the argument and let it go.
Want help integrating these tips into your relationship? Reach out
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