What if one of the lasting effects of a difficult childhood isn't simply what happened—but what you learned to do in order to handle it?
Some children learn to please. Others become tough, check out emotionally, escape into fantasy, or learn to insist that everything is fine.
These ways of coping can be remarkably adaptive when we're young. The problem is that they don't necessarily disappear when the circumstances change. Years later, we may find ourselves using the same strategies in dating, marriage and other close relationships without realizing where they came from.
I recently wrote about several of these patterns and how understanding them can create more choice in adulthood:
How Does Childhood Trauma Affect Adult Relationships?
https://www.kobyfrances.com/online-therapist-new-york-dating-relationships/how-childhood-trauma-affects-adult-relationships
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