You think you both want the same thing. You don’t.
Ask a woman what emotional intimacy feels like and she’ll describe a moment. Sitting across from him at dinner. His eyes on her. No phone. She doesn’t need him to fix anything. She needs him present.
Ask a man and he won’t describe a moment. For him it’s not an experience, it’s a state. The state of being aligned with. Of his woman moving with him instead of against him. Of not knit-picking every decision he makes.
Most couples get stuck right there.
She feels close through presence. He feels close through alignment.
And, by the way, when his presence isn’t felt by her, it makes it harder for her to align. And when her alignment isn’t felt by him, she can say goodbye to his presence.
This is when dates begin to get skipped, and physical intimacy starts to not happen.
Does this sound familiar to you?
This is a core issue I deal with in couples on a regular basis.
By understanding this dynamic and rebuilding both sides of it, presence and alignment, couples come out the other end closer than they’ve ever been. I’ve watched marriages that felt like roommate situations turn into partnerships.
This is the work I do. The real structural shift that gets both people showing up for each other.
If this sounds like your relationship, reach out. Let’s fix it.
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