Moshe Abudarham

Addiction is a symptom, not the cause.

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Moshe Abudarham's style

Why Moshe Abudarham chose to be in the helping profession

I know what it's like to carry something no one can see. For years, I was an addict — porn, sex, drugs — emotionally unstable, lost in my marriage, disconnected from my kids, my wife, and myself. I couldn't trust my own decisions. And I hid all of it, holding my life together on the outside while eroding on the inside.

I grew up in a highly structured religious environment, carrying early wounds I didn't yet have language for. In my twenties, I became a single father in Jerusalem, doing my best and still feeling like I was failing — while making sure nobody around me knew the truth.

Everything changed when I finally understood what was actually driving my patterns: the survival responses and unresolved pain underneath them. That understanding let me rebuild my life from the ground up. Today, I'm happily married, grounded, the CEO of a tech company and a coach to men fighting the battle I fought.

Now I help frum men fighting the same hidden battle, men who look fine on the outside while losing the war inside. I meet them exactly where I once was: with honesty and without judgment. What I offer isn't theory. It's lived experience and a path I've walked myself.

If not now, when?

Moshe Abudarham's approach

Core to my work is a simple idea: addiction is a symptom, not the cause. White-knuckling the behavior doesn't work you've probably already proven that to yourself. Lasting change comes from healing what's driving it.

That's why I built my coaching as a structured three-month program rather than open-ended sessions. Men who struggle with compulsive behavior don't need more vague advice; they need a clear path with a beginning, a middle, and a destination.

The program draws on a blend of approaches, including:

Internal Family Systems (IFS) — getting to know the different parts of you, including the ones that turned to addiction to protect you from pain
Addiction as a trauma response — treating the wound underneath the behavior, not just the behavior itself
Polyvagal theory — understanding how your body's survival responses drive your reactions, and how to return to calm
Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) — practical tools for staying present instead of escaping
Polarity work — restoring attraction, respect, and balance in your marriage
Masculine containment — becoming steady enough to hold your emotions, your family, and your word

What you can expect from sessions with Moshe Abudarham

My program runs in three phases over three months, each building on the last.

Month one: the foundation. It starts with being honest with yourself — naming the patterns, the behaviors, the things you say to yourself when no one's listening. From there, we stabilise the basics: sleep, movement, food, time alone. Nothing fancy. Just enough steadiness that the deeper work becomes possible.

Month two: the root. Every compulsive habit sits on top of something older. We trace the coping mechanisms, the beliefs, and the stories underneath them. This is where shame starts to loosen its grip — where you begin to understand why you do what you do, instead of just hating yourself for it.

Month three: the rebuild. You start trusting yourself again because your habits finally line up with your values. You learn to say what you actually feel. And if you're married, this is where we work on leading without controlling, and being there for your wife without losing yourself in the process.

By the end, you walk away with more than sobriety from a behavior. You walk away steadier, less reactive, and calmer under pressure — with decisions coming from you, not from fear, impulse, or old survival habits. The goal was never to become someone new. It's to become solid enough in yourself that how you act actually matches who you are.

Moshe Abudarham's experience working with the Jewish community

I grew up in an Orthodox community, so I know its culture from the inside — the responsibility, the family obligations, the high expectations. That structure can be a real source of strength. But it can also carry trauma — the kind that often sits underneath addiction. And when a frum man is struggling, the pressure to keep it hidden is enormous. Some things simply aren't talked about.

My work is a space where a frum man can be fully honest about what's happening — without judgment, and without having to explain his world first.

Moshe Abudarham's Book Recommendation Zone

• King, Warrior, Magician, Lover
  Teaches about masculine archetypes and how to combine them to be the healthiest version of ourselves
• Scattered Minds
  How ADHD develops and how to manage it, in your kids and in yourself.
• The Myth of Normal
  Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture

Approaches

• Attachment-based
• Inner child work
• Life Coaching
• Mindfulness and Meditation

Concerns

• Abuse/Violence
• Addiction
• Divorce/Separation
• Drug/Substance Abuse
• Emotion regulation
• Relationships
• Sexual health & dysfunction

2 years in practice

Degrees

• BA 2015

Certificates

• Life Coach by Robbins Madanes 2024

Trainings

• Spiritual Resilience for a Fractured World by NYU 2020

Average costs per session

$300 - $450

Payment Methods

• Free consultation
• Cash
• Zelle Quick Pay
• ACH Bank Transfer