“Why should I feel when emotions are so overwhelming? So painful at times. Why should I experience rejection, loss, sadness, anger, disgust etc.?”
“In fact, I CAN’T experience these emotions. It’s just too much!”
If this sounds at all like you, know you are not alone. Experiencing feelings and complex emotions is a human struggle, and a challenging one at that.
What about feelings that make them so difficult to process, to experience? Why is it that some “small” feelings can be so earth shattering, that they stay with you for hours, days, and beyond?
Our feelings can make us want to hide. By holding our pain close, by holding our hurt tight and comforting the wounded parts, and not pushing it away, we give ourselves permission to let go.
Ever had an embarrassing memory so painful that you felt like you were reliving it? So painful that you had to do something to relieve yourself of the pain of remembering? You try to push it out of your head, and it seems to work. But not for long... It can be an incredibly uncomfortable experience. Counterintuitively, by allowing the memory and fully experiencing it, the experience becomes less overwhelming over time.
Ever had a nightmare of being chased? Your instinct may be to run, yet In a nightmare, running toward the feared object is the trick. By confronting the object, the mystery and horror (which only existed at a distance) can be mitigated.
In an emotional nightmare, allowing the feeling, noticing our thoughts, can give us the space to uncover truths and process/work with the emotion.
Often, we fight to make sense of our experiences and feelings. Or to make our experiences more palatable to ourselves or how we perceive others will want us to feel.
“I shouldn’t be feeling this way.”
“This feeling makes no sense.”
“I don’t deserve to take up time and space with my feelings.”
“This person would judge me if they knew...”
In our lives we are allowed to give ourselves permission to experience our pain, our joy, our full range of emotionality. If we can create space while (mostly) regulated, we may experience relief over time. We may even experience inner peace and contentment.
