Picture this: Your mind is a spaceship. Inside the vessel is a captain and crew. The whole crew are navigating through space trying to land back home. Everyone wants to navigate this journey safely and ideally the captain would be able to lead everyone home.
But what if the engineer is irrationally worried about losing control of the engine room? He is terrified of messing up and causing harm to the whole crew. He has a little child at home who has already suffered so much, and needs protection, and this is the only way he knows how. He runs to the captain’s quarters and takes the wheel to make an emergency crash landing. The captain might lose focus and instead of engaging with confidence, may lose control in a state of fear.
Or what if the pilot doesn’t trust the captain to lead. After all, there were times in the past when the captain lost control of the crew. The pilot might take over and lead from a place of fear and anger instead of clarity and calmness.
According to the principles of Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS), every single individual has a captain called the self. The self is the most centered, most innate, and intrinsic part of a person. Or colloquially, it is the “you-est you.” This is the captain of our ship, or system.
This self can be recognized by many attributes and IFS enumerates some of these as the 8 “C’s.” These are 8 attributes and are as follows:
Curiosity, Compassion, Connectedness, Calmness, Creativity, Confidence, Clarity, and Courageousness
At times, the self is obscured and becomes blended with other parts of ourselves. This is just like when the engineer distracted the captain, or when the pilot took control from the captain. These parts are called protectors.
These protectors are not our enemies, they are the crew that keeps our system running. They are often using skills that have been the best shot at keeping the system safe. Sometimes, protectors look after wounded parts called exiles. This is like the engineer's child which the engineer will do anything to protect, even if it might not be from a place of self.
A person at their core has a self that is capable of the 8 attributes, and yet, there are times when the self is not “in the driver’s seat.” This could lead to a person acting from a place of survival or wounds instead of effectiveness and authenticity.
If the captain were to fire the crew while navigating space, the crew would possibly stage a mutiny or the captain would be stuck without the resources to navigate an entire spacecraft. If we were to “fire” our parts that make us uncomfortable, and even cause real pain to us, we would be stuck with a mutiny on our hands or even lacking valuable crew members who protect our system.
Each part is an essential member of our system. The goal is to work with parts and the wounds they may be protecting us from, in order to give parts space to move from extreme roles to more ideal roles.
If the captain’s control room is too crowded and the captain loses control, the ship may experience turbulence. If the captain can make space for each member and skillfully works with everyone, then it would be possible to have a smoother ride.
So too, when we as individuals become blended with our parts until we lose control of ourselves, we may experience life turbulence. It is by being mindful of ourselves and our inner experiences that we can make space for our parts and our captain can lead again.
As a Social Worker, I often use these prinicples to guide my clients toward living their lives most authentically and contentedly. Through guided IFS, individuals can learn about their different parts and are able to act and experience life with greater purpose. This, along with the more advanced steps in IFS, can lead to healing of wounds and the core causes of difficulties.
In part two, we will discuss briefly the application of these techniques on a daily basis.
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