Why DBT Parenting?

Twenty-nine years ago, I was a young mom with a spirited 4-year-old. He was such a wonderful kid—blonde, blue-eyed, and always willing to help... well, most of the time! One chilly winter morning, I handed him his clothes and asked him to get dressed, but all he wanted to do was play. I quickly dressed his baby brother instead and offered my oldest hot cocoa, sweet cereal—anything to tempt him. “Just get dressed! I’m going to be late for work again, and my co-teacher will give me that look!”

As I felt my frustration build, I realized we were both stuck in this cycle. I didn’t want to shout or make empty threats; I just felt overwhelmed. I ended up in tears, and that’s when it hit me—I needed a better way to help my children do what they needed without losing my cool. I wanted to enjoy being a parent! So, I set off on a journey to find solutions.

Over the years, I immersed myself in books, attended workshops, chatted with fellow moms, and even trained as a therapist to support other mothers in their parenting journeys. I gained so much insight into child development, emotions, and how to foster strong connections with my kids. I learned about brain development, trauma, and ways to connect and discipline positively. Each book, each conversation, and each class gave me valuable tools for raising happy, well-adjusted, and resilient children.

About eight years ago, I came across Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), a fantastic set of skills developed by Marsha Linehan to help adults with Borderline Personality Disorder create fulfilling lives. These techniques have been adapted for a variety of people. I started practicing these skills with my kids and taught them to parents and children who sought my help. The results were incredible! My clients began to thrive, becoming more effective parents, while their children grew happier and more successful. For every parenting challenge that arose, DBT offered a skill and clear instructions on how to implement it.

In the coming weeks, I can’t wait to share some of these amazing skills with you, along with stories of how my clients and I have used them. So stay tuned!

In the meantime, happy parenting!

Devora

• Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)
• Parenting