What Are Vulnerabilities and Why Should I care?

Hi there, fellow parents! Ever have one of those long Sunday afternoons where everything feels a little too heavy? I recently found myself in just that kind of situation. My eight-year-old son was bouncing off the walls, doing the usual kid stuff—complaining about dinner and getting into harmless sibling squabbles. And there I was, feeling this wave of frustration wash over me, completely caught off guard.

At that moment, I took a step back and asked myself what was happening. Was my son acting out, or was I just tired, hungry, and a little cranky? You see, I had stayed up late the night before and forgotten to eat lunch. Talk about a classic case of "halt" – hungry, angry, lonely, tired, which I'm pretty sure is a universal experience for us parents.

Let's dive into that for a second. Vulnerabilities are like these invisible weights we carry around, ones that can impact how we respond to our kids. Parenting is no walk in the park, and we all have moments when we react instead of respond. It's crucial, especially in times of stress, to check in with ourselves and recognize what's really fueling our emotions.

Next time you feel that familiar irritation creeping in while your child is just being a child, take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself these questions: Am I hungry? Did I fuel my body appropriately today? Am I experiencing anger over something unrelated to my child, perhaps an old issue that's been bothering me? And let's not forget loneliness—am I longing for some adult conversation or connection?

Here's a tip: If you find yourself hitting that breaking point, don't hesitate to take a break. It's totally okay to step away for a moment. Whether it's grabbing a snack, calling a friend, or even taking a few deep breaths to re-center, self-care in these instances is crucial. When I return after taking that time for myself, I can tap into a more grounded, wise perspective—it's like hitting the refresh button for my parenting abilities.

If you're feeling particularly drained, guided imagery might work wonders. Close your eyes for a few moments and visualize a peaceful place, drawing on the internal resources we all have. It can help you recharge and fortify yourself against the everyday stresses of parenting.

So, let's take a collective sigh of relief, embracing our vulnerabilities instead of letting them get the best of us. Remember, we're this incredible community of parents just trying to do our best. The next time you feel that meltdown on the horizon (whether from you or your child), pause, check those vulnerabilities, and give yourself a break. We can do this!

• ADHD
• Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)
• Parenting
• Trauma