Juggling Responsibility and Self-care: A Parent’s Guide to Finding Balance

It has been a long week. My little boy had a little boy. Ah, well, I guess he’s not so little anymore… As a proud local grandma, I’ve been full-time substitute Mommy to his older children, with all the extra fun and responsibilities that entails. I thought it would be a great week to focus on the dialectic of responsibility versus self-care. The realities of parenting are both thrilling and exhausting, and I've had a front-row seat this week to the incredible balancing act that every parent performs daily.

When we dive into the concept of responsibility, it’s easy to get swept away in a wave of chores and commitments. This week, I’ve found myself juggling the needs of the kids—feeding them, dressing them, ushering them off to playgroups and school. Each task is a building block, helping to shape their little lives. But these responsibilities don’t contradict he idea that parents also need to be cared for. Enter the dialectic of responsibility versus self-care.

So what exactly is self-care? It’s the gentle art of nurturing oneself in those precious moments carved out after the chaos of the day. It’s what we do after the kids have settled in for the night, or even those fleeting minutes we grasp while waiting for them to finish school. It includes that quiet cup of herbal tea that helps ease the day’s stress or the indulgent bubble bath that washes away not just the dirt but also the mental fatigue. I know, firsthand, the importance of self-care, especially if your own childhood lacked nurturing or modeling of healthy boundaries. For those who’ve wrestled with childhood trauma, the need for “me time” can easily slip through the cracks if we aren’t vigilant.

The truth is, taking care of ourselves is as essential as attending to our children's needs. If we become depleted, our ability to parent effectively plummets. I learned that the hard way. As the days unfolded, I realized just how crucial it is for parents—mothers and fathers alike—to take time for self-care. It’s not just a luxury; it’s a necessity.

So how does one balance these two overwhelming forces—responsibility and self-care? It often feels like walking a delicate tightrope. When the kids are tucked into bed and the house descends into a calm hush, what do you choose? Will it be putting away their toys, or perhaps unrolling that yoga mat for some rejuvenating movement? That decision encapsulates the ongoing dialectic of our lives as parents.

Finding that equilibrium takes intention. In my experience, I recommend taking a proactive approach to scheduling your week. First, pencil in those unchangeable appointments—work, doctor visits, school events, you know, the necessary undertakings. Next, block out time for self-care—treat these moments as seriously as you would a work meeting. Finally, fill in your responsibilities, but remember: they will never end. Instead of viewing these tasks as an exhaustive list, embrace the reality that prioritizing your needs allows you to show up fully for your family.

Here are some strategies that have proven invaluable:


• Schedule self-care time as a non-negotiable appointment. Treat this time with the same respect as a meeting with your boss.

• Identify small pockets of time during the day. Even a quick stroll around the block or a few minutes of deep breathing can rejuvenate your spirit.

• Involve your children in household responsibilities. Assign age-appropriate chores to lighten your load while teaching them essential life skills.

• Communicate openly with your spouse. Share your self-care aspirations and enlist their support in managing household tasks—teamwork makes the dream work!

• Be realistic about what you can accomplish. It’s perfectly okay to let go of perfection and prioritize what truly matters each day.

• Make self-care enjoyable. Find activities that invigorate you rather than becoming another monotonous item on your to-do list.

As I reflect on my week filled with both responsibilities and moments taken for my own self-care, I can’t help but feel grateful. Balancing these aspects not only enhances our well-being, but also enriches the lives of the children we nurture. Every breath taken for yourself is a step toward becoming the best parent you can be. Give it a try; you just might be surprised at how much lighter and more connected you feel. After all, happy parents raise happy kids!

As the whirlwind of parenting continues to spin, it becomes clearer than ever how vital our well-being is to the entire family unit. If you’re inspired by the idea of harmonizing your responsibilities with refreshing moments of self-care, I invite you to explore an invaluable resource. "Sensitive Hearts, Strong Minds" is my new book that delves deeper into nurturing both your emotional resilience and that of your children. This comprehensive guide is packed with practical strategies and insightful narratives designed to empower you on this incredible parenting journey. Learn more and get your copy today by visiting https://www.dbtparenting.info/free-plus-shipping.

• Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)
• Parenting
• Trauma