In our last post, we talked about the importance of parenting from wise mind. Today, I want to share how we can get to that wise mind place. How do we pull ourselves back together, no matter what's happening?
The key concept here is 'Wise Mind ACCEPTS.' What does that even mean? It's all about recognizing when we're feeling strong feelings and using specific strategies to ground ourselves. Here's a breakdown of the ACCEPTS skills that I've found especially useful when emotions are overwhelming.
Activities
First, let's talk about activities. This doesn't mean you have to commit to a marathon or a big project. It's about taking a break! Whether picking up a craft, walking around the block, or diving into a good book, having a go-to list of activities can be a game-changer. I've started keeping a little list, and I encourage you to do the same—write down those things that center you and bring joy, no matter how small.
Contributing
Next, we have contributing, which is all about shifting our focus from our own struggles to helping someone else. Want to make a difference? Send a quick text to a friend or bake cookies for a neighbor. It's a great way to remind ourselves that, even in challenging moments, we can brighten someone else's day. And guess what? Teaching our kids to give to others when they're feeling sad or worried creates a positive
cycle of emotional resilience.
Comparisons
Now, let's tread carefully with comparisons. This skill is best used when it lifts us up instead of dragging us down. Reflect on how you're handling things better now than you did in the past, or consider the positives in your life compared to earlier times—remember, no unfavorable comparisons here!
Emotions
Emotions are a biggie. Sometimes, we need to flip the script! Feeling sad? Grab that inspirational book or watch a funny movie. Whatever it is, find activities that consciously shift your emotional state. This not only helps you but also teaches kids the power of choosing how to respond to their feelings.
Push Away
This one sounds quirky, but it's effective! Use your imagination to temporarily "push away" those overwhelming feelings. Visualize putting them into a container and setting it aside for later. When we model this for our children, we're also giving them tools to manage their emotions.
Thoughts
Next, let's shift gears from emotions to thoughts. Instead of spiraling, engage your brain with something completely different—try crosswords, Sudoku, or even counting backward from 100. It's an effective way to cool down heated emotions and clear your mind.
Sensations
Last but definitely not least, let's talk sensations. Sometimes, our feelings are so intense that we need something physical to counteract them. Try holding a piece of ice or enjoying something spicy. Even a solid hug can produce that intense sensation that brings us back to center without causing harm.
So, there you have it—some practical tips for accessing your "wise mind" and supporting your emotional well-being as a parent. These skills aren't just for us; we can teach them to our kids, too. The most impactful thing we can do is model this behavior. If I need a break, I make sure my kids see me take that time. "Hey kids, Mommy's stepping away to listen to some music. I'll be back in a few", I say.
Being mindful of our emotional states not only helps us manage our parenting challenges better but also shows our children the importance of self-care. So, grab that list of activities, and let's lead by example—the wisest minds in the room are often right in front of us! If today's post about Wise Mind ACCEPTS resonated with you, let's take it to the next level together!
I'm hosting a free parenting workshop packed with actionable insights to help you thrive in your parenting journey. I hope you'll feel inspired and ready to take on anything. Don't wait! Check out https://go.dbtparenting.info and save your spot!
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