Hi Marriage Information Seekers!
Here’s a gift from me to you: The complete list of videos (so far) on my YouTube channel, @DrDebEmpowers, and what each one is about!
So make a bowl of popcorn, snuggle under a nice comforter, and enjoy! (And learn, too ;-)
With love,
DrDeb
PLAYLISTS
We Have The Secret To Healing Cr###y Marriages: Bringing Out YOUR Super-Powers
11 Empisodes:
Your Secret Power In Your Marriage (ep 1)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VP2GTeTWXy4&list=PLLz0UMMDM12CAQmex7-LwJPeIzJVin1On
We all have it; we were born with it - and it is the key to turning around a bad marriage. Start your journey to find your true Self right here - that's your secret power.
I Lost Myself In My Marriage (ep 2)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcXUs_s6dso&list=PLLz0UMMDM12CAQmex7-LwJPeIzJVin1On&index=2
5 ways to find who you really are no matter how awful things are.
Can We Get Connected In Our Marriage? (ep 3)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngSKQndtvrU&list=PLLz0UMMDM12CAQmex7-LwJPeIzJVin1On&index=3
Sure you can get connected to each other! But to do it, you have to first connect to yourself. Doing that means get some perspective on how you got here so you stop beating yourself up. And one benefit of perspective is that you "get" your partner, too. Learn more about perspective and about how to discover who you are - and use it to your advantage in your marriage.
I Need Courage To Handle My Marriage (ep. 4)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxXfLlytWSw&list=PLLz0UMMDM12CAQmex7-LwJPeIzJVin1On&index=4
But when you add to the courage a mix of compassion, curiosity and honesty - with yourself and for yourself - you become even more powerful. Watch and walk through how to find those qualities within yourself right now.
How Can I Be Kind To Myself When My Spouse Isn't Kind To Me? (ep 5)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUJN9kQeARI&list=PLLz0UMMDM12CAQmex7-LwJPeIzJVin1On&index=5
When you've been beaten down, you start to feel like maybe the mean things that your partner says must be true. They aren't! Learn the power of how to be kind to yourself again along with the power of being present to your own protectors while hearing your partner's feelings - when they're also in Self energy.
Your 3 Surprising Strengths For The Marriage (ep 6)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTpDuuP6eWQ&list=PLLz0UMMDM12CAQmex7-LwJPeIzJVin1On&index=6
Most people don't really know who they are at the core. Oh, they know their habits, like getting offended easily or being judgmental or not liking themselves. But that's not who they are. This video explores 3 characteristics of a person's true Self that are so powerful, you become unable to be hurt. We walk you through discovering those characteristics in yourself.
Watch Out! These Are Uber-Powerful (ep 7)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcbQ7JMHgqs&list=PLLz0UMMDM12CAQmex7-LwJPeIzJVin1On&index=7
We're adding two more super-pwers in this video - they give you the way that you can express your authentic Self in spite of the obstacles.
When Failure Is Good (ep 8)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnjBwLgf2_g&list=PLLz0UMMDM12CAQmex7-LwJPeIzJVin1On&index=8
Getting Clarity in muddy waters is not easy. But to gain the power of Self Engery, you need that clarity. How do you get it? The first step is to not shy away from "trying" things that may seem difficult or out of reach because if you fail, you're in luck! Then you know what doesn't work! Watch the video to understand how to utilize this powerful technique to make the best decisions in your marriage.
You DO Have Wisdom & Intuition (ep 9)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOXSUaOOpas&list=PLLz0UMMDM12CAQmex7-LwJPeIzJVin1On&index=9
Stop putting yourself down. You DO have wisdom. You DO have intuition. And in this video, I will show you how to discover yours. It's not even hidden so deeply. The problem is the strength of all your internal nay-sayers. Those need convincing and you will see how.
Two Keys To Being a Giver (ep 10)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JF32XUgKVEI&list=PLLz0UMMDM12CAQmex7-LwJPeIzJVin1On&index=10
Not only do you need to be a giver if you want the Personal Power of your Self Energy handling things in your marriage - but so does your partner. Learn exactly what that is, and isn't.
8 Signs You Have A Big Heart (ep 11)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UuEw8Rv3ag&list=PLLz0UMMDM12CAQmex7-LwJPeIzJVin1On&index=11
This is the last video in our playlist, We Have The Secret To Healing Cr#### Marriages and it sums up some of the top characteristics of your Empowerment. It turns out that everything that makes you look vulnerable makes you look - and feel and be - strong. And the top ones are in this video.
Marriage Situations
How She Went From People Pleaser To Empowered Person (Situation #1)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42UI3wCc8zc&list=PLLz0UMMDM12BFJcyI3gV4XM06R-Ym6Iy1
This video centers around one of the most powerful of healing techniques for resolving people pleasing.
“But This Is Who I Am!(Situation #2)”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9HabUNBvqQ&list=PLLz0UMMDM12BFJcyI3gV4XM06R-Ym6Iy1&index=2
Larry finally seeks therapy because his business will fail if he doesn't change how he talks to his employees and colleagues. He doesn't believe it will work because he thinks who he is has to be who he will ever be. Is that true? If it's not, then how come it FEELS like it is? And then how in the world does change happen anyway? Find out in this video.
Why Does Cheryl Tolerate So Much Pain (Situation #3)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWU5tA_LZ8g&list=PLLz0UMMDM12BFJcyI3gV4XM06R-Ym6Iy1&index=3
Cheryl is Larry's wife. She's been asking him to go to therapy but he has ignored her. She enters therapy herself to find out why she tolerates so much pain. She discovers she's afraid of abandonment. What is she supposed to do now? She can't change the past - or can she?
Can Larry Take Charge Of His Anger? (Situation #4)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9m28kbL3ME&list=PLLz0UMMDM12BFJcyI3gV4XM06R-Ym6Iy1&index=4
Larry has ruined an important business relationship. When he’s calm, he can see what went wrong. But why didn’t he see it at the time? Why did he have to explode? After all, that is the reason he’s in therapy. And after 3 or 4 therapy session, he’s still doing it. Why does therapy not work faster? Or coaching, for that matter? Is there hope for Larry?
How Abusers Really Feel Will Surprise You (Situation #5)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7iDVBaMvlc&list=PLLz0UMMDM12BFJcyI3gV4XM06R-Ym6Iy1&index=5&t=3s
Understanding the person who doesn't meet our needs is the most important part of self care! That is how to get those very needs met. In this video, we dig deeper into why Larry is not making progress and why that is okay - for now.
What's Emotional Healing Anyway? - Cheryl Is Tested (Situation #6)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3Pw9-u9aBU&list=PLLz0UMMDM12BFJcyI3gV4XM06R-Ym6Iy1&index=6
Cheryl's fear of abandonment has kept her in an abusive marriage. But she learns to comfort her frightened child inside of her. Then she gets tested....
The Real Reason Nothing's Happening In The Bedroom (Situation #7)
Remember Molly, from Marriage Situation #1? She was the people pleaser. It seemed at first that Tom, her husband, and she, got along just fine. But we didn't look too closely back then. Now, we're going to focus on Tom, her husband. Let's just say nothing's happening in the bedroom. Why is that? Who is more bothered by it? [Hint: they both are.] So why does it stay unaddressed?
Watch my newest installment to the youtube playlist Marriage Situations:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5UzrxOinMw&list=PLLz0UMMDM12BFJcyI3gV4XM06R-Ym6Iy1&index=7
LIVES
Note: Use the same link to access the Replays of all of these previously-live videos.
“I'm Fine; You Need Therapy!”
https://youtube.com/live/J9Eo8YVkm6U?
Grrr. Oh, that is so annoying. They say they’re fine when they’re clearly not. They need the therapy: They don’t get my feelings. They don’t get anyone’s feelings. They trample feelings! And they say they’re fine? Oh, actually, they do have feelings – for themselves. They’re always hurt! Find out today at 1 PM Eastern Time *why they do this *and – most importan – how to react so you get them BACK into therapy!
No More Temper: Is That Possible? Case Study
https://youtube.com/live/RRrtED04pws
“Is that possible? I mean really, DrDeb, is it possible for someone to go from scaring the rest of us and making us miserable to not having a temper?” Not only is it possible but it happens every day. In my office. Actually, in their homes. On our Live Thursday Dec 7, 2023 at 1 PM Eastern time, I will share with you true stories of exactly how we get there. Watch it live on my channel, @DrDebEmpowers.
What A Healed Marriage Looks Like
https://youtube.com/live/kZtOqdNdrvM
In our 1 PM Eastern Time Live on Thursday, I’m going to let you in on a little secret: It’s not the lack of disagreement in healed and healthy marriages that makes the difference… …because it is normal for people to disagree. It would be really boring if everyone agreed with each other - very unsexy. No, it’s something else. And if you’re guessing that healthy people fight “nicely” – meaning in sweet, calm tones – uh-uh. Most people can’t pull that off. Nor should they. To be alive is to be passionate. People can’t – and shouldn’t – hide their passions from each other. In fact, that would be the exact opposite of what a healthy marriage is – which is being real. And still being connected. So what is it? What is this “thing” that makes healthy marriages work? And how do people get there? Please join me on Thursday at 1 PM Eastern on Youtube.
Can We Heal Our Marriage Without Going Into The Past?
https://youtube.com/live/h4O2TibK4dk
A very young couple reached out to me about 10 years ago. They had a therapist who referred them to me because she didn’t do couples work. At that time, I didn’t know IFS (Internal Family Systems) and we Marriage & Family Therapists were trained not to have to delve into the pasts of the couple. See, it’s the relationship that’s your client, so the theory goes. The relationship is all about current behavior and attitudes and it doesn’t matter where those attitudes come from because we just have to change the way the people relate to each other. We, the young couple and I, stumbled around in a long, complicated therapy process, and I want to share with you *what worked *what didn’t work and why *how we got changes to happen when the husband was 100% against touching on his past – and why. *and to answer a great question in the Facebook group, why do people feel like that husband anyway? #######NOTE NEW DATE AND TIME FOR MAKEUP####### Join me ***TUESDAY*** November 21, 2023 at ***8 PM*** Eastern Time on YouTube – and participate! If you can’t make it and you STILL want to participate, then PLEASE comment later on when you see it. In fact, look at all the videos I’ve already got up on my channel, not just the lives.
Don't Bother Me With The Facts!
https://youtube.com/live/-45q6DKSJRw
“Caroline did not mean to insult you!” Nancy said about their daughter. “I know this to be true because she told me herself. She’s a good girl, the best!”
“Yeah, well, why didn’t she apologize then?” William demanded.
“You wouldn’t speak to her! How could she apologize?” Caroline came back. “Well, if she’d have been nicer…” William returned.
This could go on forever. And it does. Why? Because we operate from emotions, not logic. So all the logic, the facts, and the pleas to be open fall on deaf ears. In fact, that is precisely what we’re seeing now in the world on a much larger scale. It could be in your own home on a smaller scale so it’s worth it to try to understand –
*why people disreagard facts in favor of emotions
*what we can do about it in our own relationships
*how to monitor this very trend in ourselves
*find out what Nancy could say RIGHT NOW to change things.
PARTICIPATE in our Live on YouTube Thursday Nov 9 at 1 PM Eastern time and empower yourself!
How To Strengthen Your Relationship Even When Your Partner Isn't Changing
https://youtube.com/live/2L1YtdgYkPY
“DrDeb, I know what you’re going to tell me. You’re going to say I have to be nice, be good, and then my partner will react differently. Well, I’ve tried that, and it doesn’t work.” That’s why that’s not what I’m going to say, lol. If you’re nice and good you can get stepped on. You can and will get taken advantage of. But being mean certainly doesn’t work either. Nah, I’m going deeper than that. Join me at 1 PM and find out the secrets to making real changes in your life.
How To Forgive Your Partner For Past Affairs
https://youtube.com/live/3rMm5y2Tz3E
What if you had the ability to MINDREAD your partner? What would that be like? --You’d feel SAFE, wouldn’t you? Because you’d know – 1. why they had the affairs 2. what needs/hurts/trauma they were running away from 3. how sincere they are that they won’t do it again 4. whether they HEALED from this compulsive escape mechanism 5. whether they GET how frightening/upsetting/hurtful it was to you, the actual FEELINGS you had of shock, betrayal, a dagger in the heart. 6. whether they truly love you and care about you, want your company, want to enjoy your years together. I’m going to demonstrate in our Thursday att 1 PM Eastern Live on YouTube that we actually HAVE the ability to see directly into our partner’s mind….under specific conditions. Learn exactly what those are in today’s live.
How To Engage An Irresponsible Partner
https://youtube.com/live/5-PSnmogQBo
They don’t help with the kids They spend money you don’t have. They may be out doing even worse than that. And you’ve tried everything. You’ve talked, discussed, shared your feelings….. But nothing works. Why? Well, I’ll tell you why! In fact, the answer to why it’s not working is in the very title of this Live. So what DO you do? Watch and participate at 1 PM Eastern time Thursday on YouTube.
Healing Wounded Self Esteem
https://youtube.com/live/IZ-2faCk48k
There's that awful feeling of not loving yourself.... ...being out of sorts... ...disconnected from your inner core.... It's not the state humans were meant to be in. It's a state of warning – fix this! Just like touching a hot stove compells us to jerk our fingers back. We were meant to enjoy this life and make the best of it in a positive way, starting with our Selves! Yet we don't. Thank you for this excellent topic for our Live today! Find out at 1 PM Eastern time today * exactly why we even can get wounded – what does it mean to be vulnerable and how can that be a good thing anyway if it can hurt? * how do we LET ourselves get wounded, anyway? Why can't we protect ourselves? Find out how we do protect ourselves and why that doesn't work. * the amazing power of Self to heal and exactly what steps to take to do that * how to reconnect to our inner wisdom and joy, to ourselves! TODAY 1 pm Eastern time on YouTube
How To Engage An Emotionally Unavailable Partner
https://youtube.com/live/yIvtq9lnRdc
Grrrr. Nothing you do, absolutely nothing, engages him. What do you do? You've tried EVERYTHING.... Stick with our YouTube Live at 1 PM Eastern Time Thursday (and EVERY Thursday at 1 PM!) and find out. It's almost so simple it's embarrassing....
You're Not Crazy! You're Not Sick Either
https://youtube.com/live/8oOTk2G-E5k
Did someone give you a diagnosis? Or maybe the person you love and is supposed to love you, maybe they thought you're some awful thing like Bipolar. Or Borderline. Or "Rageaholic." Or – OMG – narcissist? Well I'm going to shock you at 1 PM Eastern time today, Thursday August 10th. You don't deserve the diagnosis. The diagnosis doesn't help. It makes the doctors feel good because it appears to solve a big problem. Instead it makes things worse. Join me on YouTube at 1 PM Eastern Time today and learn:
*How did a label get stuck on you? One that tells you and the world that you are "sick" and "crazy"?
*And what's wrong with having it, anyway? If you're acting crazy and you are fed up, then shouldn't the label go where it belongs?
*Not only that. I will explain not only why the label is wrong. But why it makes problems WORSE.
*So how should we think of ourselves INSTEAD? And I will explain the *real* steps to take with a jerk. Or a bipolar. Or a borderline. Or someone who yells. Or checks out. Or - whatever. All those things that make a marriage a rotten place to be. And take notes. This may be the most important Livestream you ever attend on your marriage.
Uncovering Your Inner Wisdom: A Realtime Exercise
https://youtube.com/live/IePBqY89UYU
Here's a question: Is it possible for someone to be a narcissist and also a "great guy" or gal? Is it possible for someone to be a cheat and also a wonderful person? Is it possible for someone to to be an addict, abusive, lazy, escapist – and still be responsible? Is it possible for someone to be depressed, moody, and negative and still be full of joy? Today, we're going to fully answer that question in our Live at 1 PM Eastern time so that you can get the opportunity to experience the answer for yourself.
Are Kids Resilient?
https://youtube.com/live/tYMfzTYiMDM
You were a kid once. And you married someone who also was. What do you think? Learn the 6 ways we can help our kids grow up to be the resilient people we want them to be in our Live you tube presentation today at 1 PM Eastern Time.
How To Believe In Yourself (Even When You've Been Crushed Down)
https://youtube.com/live/15A3ojjfWVg
After years of exhausting “discussions” that went nowhere, Sheila had lost all belief in herself. Not only that, she didn’t even know what she believed. And the question is: Where is that belief supposed to come from now? Should she get divorced and find someone who really believes in her? The answer I’m going to go over in our Live at 1 PM will surprise you. And how she’s supposed to get her belief back will surprise you even more.
OMG! I Married A Narcissist
https://youtube.com/live/j5uRP53k0YI
Narcissist. Shamrcissist. It's a word I don't like. "Narcissist" is thrown around so much that it becomes an excuse to hate your spouse, leave your spouse, and give up. But you know why they're not getting fixed? Why therapists cringe and give up? It's because it's the wrong diagnosis. The word "Narcissist" is scary and - more to the point - it lacks anything helpful about it. It implies human failure, like somehow there's a missing piece in your partner's brain that needs to be filled up - only that's impossible to do. The end of the road. Is that really true? Can narcissists develop empathy? Understanding? Why don't they seem to when you keep trying? Can they ever "get" you? Can they feel? How in the world is that even possible, if, by definition, narcissists can't? Can't feel, that is. Something's screwy with the definition. Find out what the one piece of the definition is that matters today at 1 PM Eastern time in my YouTube Live. Also find out:
* Why narcissists have to manipulate, blame, minimize your feelings
* What our journey is in working with people who've been given that label.
* What they really are.
* What RESULTS can you expect from the RIGHT therapy and how long should they take
* The deep challenge that you face - Can you do it on your own? YOUTUBE with me today at 1 PM Eastern Time!
How Do You Get Your Spouse To See That He Needs Therapy?
https://youtube.com/live/iceDpcfENBk
What a great question. And there are a lot of partners wanting their partners in therapy, that's for sure. But when the person wanting their partner tries "everything" I always tell them there is one thing they have not tried. And my way works. Every time. Warning: it isn't easy to pull off - but it is doable. Are you up for the challenge? Find out what it is in my Live on YOUTUBE Thursday at 1 PM Eastern time.
When Your Spouse HAS To Win Every Argument
https://youtube.com/live/lhk0xkiypQ8
Isn't it exhausting? Constant bickering with no end....all because your spouse has to be right. They can't be wrong! So they go round and round until you give up. ...And NO ONE got heard. What's the solution?
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