They Suffer Silently (Out of Focus, Family First, Issue 921)

I’d like to thank Rochie Bloomberg for her well-written and informative serial, Out of Focus, which I read with great interest and appreciation. I’m an ADHD coach for women, and the struggles, challenges, and successes that were described by Rochie and the women who shared their stories in the follow-up piece parallel what many women with ADHD experience.

As referenced in the serial, women with ADHD are often undiagnosed or diagnosed later in life because they tend to present with inattentive ADHD. Their symptoms can be more subtle and internal and less noticeable. They’re often dreamy, easily distracted, and forgetful. In contrast, hyperactive ADHD causes more external symptoms, such as fidgeting, restlessness, and impulsivity. (ADHD can also present as combined inattentive-hyperactive.)

Many women with ADHD suffer silently and feel overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions and tend to feel “stuck.” They may also struggle with anxiety and/or depression.

The main area of the brain affected by ADHD is the prefrontal cortex, which controls executive functioning. Executive function includes skills such as the ability to plan, prioritize, organize, retain information, show self-restraint, manage time, regulate emotions, problem-solve, focus, and make decisions. Women with ADHD may experience a wide range in the type and severity of symptoms.

Understanding executive functions and how the ADHD brain is neurologically wired and affects behavior is an important factor to consider. This self-awareness gives women more clarity as to why things may be more difficult for them. Women with ADHD aren’t flawed, but rather have a unique brain that works differently (a reason… not an excuse).

This can potentially impact all areas of life, and as the demands of life and household responsibilities increase, it can become even more challenging.

Women also tend to compare themselves to others who seemingly have it “together,” which can negatively impact self-esteem. Learned helplessness and perfectionism may also develop after years of struggling.

It’s important to highlight the incredible creativity and strengths of these amazing women. They are smart, empathetic, intuitive, and talented and can accomplish the impossible. Each small success is a victory and should be acknowledged and celebrated.

Treatment for women with ADHD involves a multifaceted approach that can include medication, therapy, coaching, and lifestyle changes. Proper nutrition, exercise, adequate sleep, and a structured routine can help manage symptoms.

ADHD coaching can help women with ADHD in many ways. It’s a collaborative, supportive, goal-oriented process in which the coach and client work together to identify goals and develop the strategies, skills, and techniques necessary to move forward in achieving those goals. Target goals are broken down into manageable steps as new habits are formed.

ADHD can be a superpower, and learning how to turn the challenges of it into strengths can be life-changing. Focusing on accomplishments and highlighting success fosters the motivation and drive to keep going. With self-awareness and resilience, women can feel empowered to succeed and move toward leading a more balanced and fulfilling life, reaching their full potential.

C. Scharf

CPC-AAPC

ADHD coach

• ADHD