There’s a powerful moment in Inside Out where Joy finally sits beside Sadness and stops trying to fix her… and just listens.
And it hits on something many parents miss.
Perhaps, the most important first step.
When our kids have big feelings, disappointment, frustration, anger, sadness, our instinct is to jump in and fix it.
We explain.
We reason.
We try to calm things down as quickly as possible.
But in doing that, we often skip the part they need most:
👉 Feeling understood.
Before kids can hear our explanations, they need to know we get what’s happening inside of them.
“I know you didn’t want to leave the park. You were having so much fun.”
“That must feel really disappointing, you just got that toy and now it’s broken.”
“It’s frustrating when you build something and it gets knocked down.”
When we slow down and meet them there first, they feel seen.
They feel less alone in the feeling.
And THAT'S what helps them begin to let it go.
Only then can they really hear what comes next.
So next time your child is melting down or overwhelmed, try this first:
Don’t fix it.
Don’t rush it.
Just see it.
Sometimes, the fastest way through a feeling… is to allow it. 💛
The First Step is the Most Important
About the author
Yacova Leifert
Parenting Coach
"My coaching approach is personalized to each family and begins with understanding what is happening in their day-to-day lives and what inspired them to reach out for support. I take the time to listen to parents' experiences, challenges, …
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