Why Your Search for 'Oneness' is Leaving You Feeling Alone

Why Your Search for 'Oneness' is Leaving You Feeling Alone by Eli Deutsch, Relationship Expert

We all want that feeling of being 'one' with our spouse. We want to be finishing each other's sentences and seeing the world through the same eyes. It’s the dream of a relationship: total unity.

But have you noticed that the harder you try to be 'the same,' the further apart you actually end up? To avoid conflict, you try to agree on everything -- and one of you feels like they're losing themselves. The spark slowly disappears. You try to become 'one,' but you end up feeling like roommates who have lost the 'charge' between you.

Here is the secret: True oneness isn't about being the same. It’s about two different forces coming together to create something bigger than themselves.

Think of a battery. It creates one powerful current, but it can only do that because it has a positive pole and a negative pole. If you try to make both ends of the battery 'positive' to be 'the same,' the light goes out.

In your relationship, that 'oneness' you crave comes from the dynamic interaction between your innate masculine-feminine powers. When he stands in his Masculine strength – providing steady, protective containment – and she softens into her Feminine radiance – acting with vulnerability and flow – that is when the magic happens. 

That’s the moment you actually feel 'one.' You aren't 'one' because you’ve become the same; you’re 'one' because your polarity has finally clicked into place.

Stop trying to flatten your differences to keep the peace. Those differences need to be danced with and delicately worked through. And when done right, they can add fuel to your attraction and connection. When we become like two pillars holding up the same roof. That is where the closeness and emotional intimacy lives.

If you’re tired of conflict and done feeling like 'roommates', and you’re ready to find that deep, magnetic unity, I can help. I show couples how to build an emotionally intimate relationship around respect and attraction that actually has a pulse.

Let’s talk.

About the author

Eli Deutsch

Relationship Expert

  • Remote only
  • $250 Per Session
  • 9 reviews

Eli Deutsch is a relationship expert who helps Jewish couples restore polarity, improve communication, rebuild trust, and reignite intimacy.


"I find that one of the biggest downfalls for couples today is a breakdown in the male-female dynamic within their relationship. Men often act from a place of weakness instead of from initiative, follow through, and emotional self …

  • 🎯 Direct
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  • 💡 Solution-oriented
  • 🐣 Out of the box

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