Everyone says they want “authentic communication” in their relationship.
But do we actually know what that means?
True communication isn’t just about honesty. It’s about presence.
It’s about stepping into a conversation with curiosity, not control.
It’s about openness to what your partner feels, to what they might say, and to where the moment might take you.
That kind of communication?
It’s rare. And it’s powerful.
Most of us, without even realizing it, get pulled into trying to *steer* the conversation.
We manipulate.
We push.
We strategize to get what we think we need.
Why? Because we’re afraid.
Afraid of the unknown.
Afraid of not getting the outcome we crave.
Afraid of sitting in the space of non-clarity.
But fear-driven conversation can never lead to emotional intimacy and love.
It can only lead to unhealthy control and resentment.
Here’s a real example:
I recently set up a guy and a gal on a date. Just an hours after the date, the woman called me, saying that she enjoyed the date and wanted to go out again.
But do we actually know what that means?
True communication isn’t just about honesty. It’s about presence.
It’s about stepping into a conversation with curiosity, not control.
It’s about openness to what your partner feels, to what they might say, and to where the moment might take you.
That kind of communication?
It’s rare. And it’s powerful.
Most of us, without even realizing it, get pulled into trying to *steer* the conversation.
We manipulate.
We push.
We strategize to get what we think we need.
Why? Because we’re afraid.
Afraid of the unknown.
Afraid of not getting the outcome we crave.
Afraid of sitting in the space of non-clarity.
But fear-driven conversation can never lead to emotional intimacy and love.
It can only lead to unhealthy control and resentment.
Here’s a real example:
I recently set up a guy and a gal on a date. Just an hours after the date, the woman called me, saying that she enjoyed the date and wanted to go out again.
Then she asked anxiously, “Have you heard from him yet? Can you check in with him? I don’t want to go to sleep not knowing.”
I didn’t give her an update because, of course, I didn't have one yet.
Instead, I gave her something I was hoping might serve her better -- a path back to her Feminine center.
“Be okay with exactly where things are. Feel the rawness of the moment and be okay in the not knowing.”
That’s what authentic communication demands:
The courage to release control.
The strength to let your partner be free.
The humility to hear — and really *hear* — what’s true for them, even if it’s not what you hoped.
Because real relationship is built by two free people choosing each other — not coercing each other.
When you and your partner can say:
“I respect your experience, even when it’s different from mine.”
“I choose connection, not control.”
— that’s when communication becomes refined.
Instead, I gave her something I was hoping might serve her better -- a path back to her Feminine center.
“Be okay with exactly where things are. Feel the rawness of the moment and be okay in the not knowing.”
That’s what authentic communication demands:
The courage to release control.
The strength to let your partner be free.
The humility to hear — and really *hear* — what’s true for them, even if it’s not what you hoped.
Because real relationship is built by two free people choosing each other — not coercing each other.
When you and your partner can say:
“I respect your experience, even when it’s different from mine.”
“I choose connection, not control.”
— that’s when communication becomes refined.
And that's where the magic happens.
Authentic communication isn’t a tool. It’s the foundation.
Without it, there is no *real* relationship.
With it, our connection becomes electric.
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