Struggling with Depression? Discover the Hidden Causes Behind Your Emotional Pain.

Many people ask what causes depression or deep sadness. Depression is a symptom experienced by many, stemming from a variety of underlying issues. Similar to how a fever signals a physical problem in the body, depression indicates that something is going wrong in our emotional world. However, the specific cause of depression can vary from person to person. That said, there are common factors that can help someone understand the root of their depression, though it's important to recognize that these factors are nuanced and unique to each individual.

 

1. Learned Helplessness (Martin Seligman):

Learned helplessness is a psychological condition in which a person believes they have no control over their circumstances, often as a result of repeated exposure to stress or trauma. This can lead to feelings of powerlessness and hopelessness, which are common in depression. In situations where a person feels unable to escape or change their circumstances, they may stop trying altogether, even when opportunities for change arise. This learned behavior from past experiences—often rooted in childhood—can deeply affect a person's outlook on life, leaving them feeling trapped in a cycle of negativity and despair. The work of psychologist Martin Seligman highlights how this learned helplessness can contribute to depression by reducing one's sense of agency and self-efficacy.

 

 

2. Self-Treatment Mechanisms from Childhood:

As children, we often develop coping strategies to protect ourselves from distressing situations. However, these methods may no longer be effective as adults. For example, excessive rumination—constantly replaying distressing thoughts or symptoms in an attempt to figure out how to change a bad situation—can lead to anxiety and depression. As children, we may have used rumination to solve problems, but as adults, it can become an unhealthy cycle. Similarly, anxiety may have served as a protective response, helping us avoid embarrassment or danger in social situations, but in adulthood, it can become a barrier to living a fulfilling life. Being overly self-critical might have once motivated us to improve or change, but now it can contribute to feelings of worthlessness and depression.

 

 

3. Dissociation:

When facing overwhelming emotions or trauma, we may learn to dissociate as a survival mechanism. This means disconnecting from our emotional experience in order to cope with unbearable pain. Dissociation can numb our feelings, but it may also lead to confusion or difficulty understanding what is happening emotionally. The emotional pain may eventually leak out, leaving a person feeling lost, detached, or depressed. When emotions are not fully processed, they can contribute to long-term psychological distress.

 

 

4. Avoidance of Painful Emotions:

Sometimes, there are emotions or thoughts that we don't want to confront because they are too painful or uncomfortable. In such cases, we may unconsciously avoid these feelings, or we may be unaware of them altogether. This avoidance can give rise to negative emotions, and as a result, we might express our pain in less direct ways. For example, we may project our unresolved feelings onto others, seeing their problems as our own and feeling anger toward them. Alternatively, we may experience secondary emotions—feelings like anger or frustration—while the core emotion, such as loneliness, sadness, or shame, remains hidden and unprocessed. When we don't address our core emotions, we may experience ongoing emotional suffering or depression.

 

 

5. Unprocessed Emotions:

When emotions are not fully processed, they can lead to depression. If someone does not grieve the loss of a loved one, such as the passing of a mother, or fails to process past trauma, such as abuse, it can manifest as depression. Unprocessed grief and trauma can become trapped within the individual, creating a sense of emotional heaviness that affects their overall well-being.

 

 

6. Lack of Purpose or Meaning in Life:

Depression can also arise from a lack of meaning or purpose in life. If a person feels like they have nothing to live for or cannot make sense of their existence, they may experience a profound sense of emptiness or hopelessness. This feeling of disconnection from one's purpose in life can be a significant contributor to depression, especially if they struggle to identify what they want out of life or how to move forward.

 

 

7. Confusion and Decision Paralysis:

At times, depression can stem from being overwhelmed by life's complexities. When someone feels confused about what to do, or unable to make a decision because of the consequences, they may become stuck. The inability to make choices or navigate life's challenges can lead to frustration, anxiety, and eventually depression.

 

 

 

In addition to these factors, there are many other reasons why depression might occur, as it is a complex condition that affects individuals in unique ways.

About the author

Meli Pil, MHC-LP

Therapist, Mental Health Counselor, Limited Permit

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