Why you might feel flat after the holidays, and what actually helps
A few weeks ago the days were full and life felt lit up. Now it's dark by the time we get home, and the routine is back: alarm, commute, work, dinner, bed.
If you're feeling a little flat, heavier, or shorter with the people around you, you're not alone. And usually a second voice shows up: "What's wrong with you? You should be fine." That voice often hurts more than the low mood.
Two parts, one person
In IFS (Internal Family Systems) we see the mind as made of parts. One is the tired part. It carried a lot this fall and it's asking for a slower pace. It's not lazy, it's depleted.
The other is the critic. It panics and pushes: "Slow down and you'll fall behind." It's not the enemy either. It's a protector trying to keep you on track. But pressure on a tired part just makes it more tired.
The shift that helps
ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) teaches that you don't need to feel motivated before doing what matters. Make room for the heaviness and still take one small step. Not "I'll work out every day this winter." More like "A ten-minute walk on Tuesday."
Try this: the two-minute check-in
Once a day, in the car or before bed, ask:
- What's here right now? Name it: "Tired." "Anxious." "Numb."
- Which part is talking? Thank it: "I hear you."
- What's one small thing that matters tonight? Do just that.
Miss a day? Start again tomorrow. Starting again is the skill.
If the heaviness lasts for weeks, gets in the way of work or relationships, or comes back every winter, take it seriously and talk to someone. You don't have to carry it alone.
Moishy Anderson, LMSW
Brooklyn