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Dear reader, I was sitting in a session with a single client the other day talking about getting married— she was overwhelmed, spiraling into that familiar mental loop of “What if this never happens?”, “Am I falling behind?”, “Is there something wrong with me?”. She looked at me and said, “I just want to have more Bitachon/Trust. I want to feel calm and certain.” And I said something that I want to share with you too: Surrender isn’t found in certainty — it’s found in the way you hold uncertainty. Let that land for a second. Surrender is a response when you don’t know. When the path is unclear. When the outcome isn’t guaranteed. When the waiting feels heavy. And still — you choose to believe that God is good, and that you’re being held. That you’re not behind. That you are not broken. That your story is still unfolding. It’s in that space of not knowing where real trust is tested. From a psychological perspective, our body can get in the way of surrender if we are not aware of how it works together with God. What we’re talking about here is called "nervous system regulation". The body loves certainty — it feels safe there. But when life becomes uncertain (and it always does), the body often reacts with fight, flight, or freeze. Your thoughts race. Your stomach tightens. You grasp for answers. That’s not weakness — that’s only your body trying to protect you, but with limited instructions and point of view. But when you start to work with your soul and your higher self as well as your nervous system — when you breathe through the spiral, when you soften into your experience instead of resisting it — something changes. You teach your body that it's safe in the unknown because God loves you. When you review evidence that God had your back the whole time in the past, you show your body that uncertainty is not danger. You learn how to stay calm with yourself and with God in the unknown. That is a holy practice. That is emotional regulation and surrender beautifully working together. And both need to coexist. So, if you’re in a season of waiting, if you’re not sure what to do next or if you’re tempted to panic or shut down: Pause. Place a hand on your heart and say this to yourself: “I don’t know what’s coming next. But I do know I’m not alone. I trust that I’ll be guided at the right time. I don’t need certainty to feel grounded. I can hold the unknown with love because God is holding me. God has my back. ” That’s what surrender feels like. That’s the goal. Not to know the ending — but to trust through the middle. "Everything is ok in the end, if it's not ok, it's not the end." - John Lennon With so much love, Jackie 💜 |
Los Angeles