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This topic contains 16 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by Profile Photo EB 3 months ago.

  • Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 17 total)
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    DotingKishke

    With all of the antisemitism happening in the world, my anxiety has sky rocketed. Although I don’t have kids yet, All I can think about is how can I be a mother and a protector if I’m afraid of the world. Please help!

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    CTab

    My mother often told me that she had the same fears during the Cold War. I think it’s actually important that you feel this way because it already show how strongly you would care for your child. If you believe that Love conquers all, then no matter when or where you raise your child, it will be a blessing.

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    Mitchell

    I agree with CTab. As long as you raise your child to the best of your abilities and with love and affection, I’m sure he or she will turn out just fine. And we don’t know what the future holds. Your child could grow up in a cultural landscape that’s completely different from the one we have now. Or your child could grow up to be the one that changes it. I think as long as you and your spouse are ready for the commitment and responsibility of raising a child, you shouldn’t let these outside factors get in the way.

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    Chavy

    These are all excellent response and I agree with all that’s said.

    @dotingkishke, I don’t have much too add here, but I do hope you’re happy with whatever decision you make and know that we’re cheering you on and believe in you 🙂

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    RomanticYente

    I definitely agree with all that is being said. I think everyone hit the nail on the head and all I can say is that I think everything will change once you hold your baby. You will feel the immediate sense of doing absolutely anything for that child, which could help.

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    DotingKishke
    Topic Author

    Wow. Thank you so much for all your advice. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone in this and this a very normal thing to be going through. I think I’m also nervous that something like this would scare off a potential spouse, which also makes me anxious.

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    CTab

    Your child could grow up in a cultural landscape that’s completely different from the one we have now. Or your child could grow up to be the one that changes it.

    Well said @mitchell

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    Chany

    In response to DotingKishke's post #5503:

    I think its a normal anxiety to have and likely your spouse will understand and help walk through rational thinking with you. If he respond negatively it might be an argument worth exploring to help each of you learn to support each other with each other’s “crazinesses” in a most helpful way. NO?

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    DotingKishke
    Topic Author

    In response to Chany's post #5516:

    yeah thats the hope. The hope is that something like this is normal and worth talking about and discussing and finding a solution together. not just thinking that it is rational and something that cant be handled

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    RomanticYente

    As i believe that that is a real fear and an understandable one, if someone you are thinking about being with forever is not okay with something like that talking through it and finding a solution together then that says something about that person maybe not being the right person for you

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    Mitchell

    In response to RomanticYente's post #5525:

    I agree. The way you feel about something is always important in a relationship, especially about a huge topic like this. I think that as long as you’ve found the right person, someone who understands and cares about you, having these discussions should be easy.

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    CTab

    Decided to revisit this thread to see what other users had to say and I’m blown away by how supportive you all are!

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    RomanticYente

    In response to Mitchell's post #5532:

    Thanks Mitchell for agreeing. I think its something you just have to handle when you get there. Things might feel different or be different when you get to that stage in life. I think you should just continue live with beautiful life you have and not stress about it

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    Yehuda (Hudi) Kowalsky

    Any major life-changing / phase-of-life decision can bring on increased anxiety (as can more mundane decisions). Bringing children into the world is certainly a biggy across physical, emotional & social spheres.

    It’s important to notice where our fears are coming from, and check in with loved ones, professionals and mentors to determine if our fears are ordinary or a sign of larger anxieties.

    Best of luck w/ all your decisions.

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    Mitchell

    In response to Yehuda (Hudi) Kowalsky's post #5588:

    This is an important message. We need to keep track of “where our fears are coming from”. Sometimes they may come from a rational appraisal of the situation, but sometimes there might be something deeper than even we know holding us back. It’s important to work through all of this before going through with any big decision, especially one like whether or not to have children.

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